Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize