The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
