I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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