woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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