You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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