How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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