Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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