He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
