Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
