it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
