Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
