I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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