Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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