my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
