Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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