My friends, they love my intelligence
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
