dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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