life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
