Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day