I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year