Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
