Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?