my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.