Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am

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  (513): Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am http://tfl.nu/6qjs
  Replies (7) Good night (2160) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."

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  (901): I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..." http://tfl.nu/hs8y
  Replies (51) Good night (4649) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...

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  (937): I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub... http://tfl.nu/665a
  Replies (9) Good night (6209) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious

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  (925): so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious http://tfl.nu/hqe9
  Replies (16) Good night (4702) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME

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  (802): the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME http://tfl.nu/i706
  Replies (51) Good night (701) Bad night (6935)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You did not just play the dead husband card again.

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  (760): You did not just play the dead husband card again. http://tfl.nu/xl50
  Replies (20) Good night (1161) Bad night (5461)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.

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  (703): I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number. http://tfl.nu/ol2r
  Replies (19) Good night (7160) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.

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  (307): The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though. http://tfl.nu/bysz
  Replies (8) Good night (999) Bad night (3257)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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  (707): I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet http://tfl.nu/0aqf
  Replies (10) Good night (1767) Bad night (3526)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.

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  (913): You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals. http://tfl.nu/ise6
  Replies (9) Good night (4494) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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  (832): The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof http://tfl.nu/eyc5
  Replies (7) Good night (2601) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

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  (512): I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland. (1-512): I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies. http://tfl.nu/m9ig
  Replies (5) Good night (1105) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.

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  (248): The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager. http://tfl.nu/apbs
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Best superhero ever to exist

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  (630): I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman (1-630): Best superhero ever to exist http://tfl.nu/bh1h
  Replies (6) Good night (1130) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed

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  (336): Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed http://tfl.nu/q8dx
  Replies (3) Good night (328) Bad night (828)

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