No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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