you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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