Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.