I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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