good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
