The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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