The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
