Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
