I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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