I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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