Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Be still, my beating vagina.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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