I want to make a zoo with you.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
