the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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