i just had sex bonerless
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
