i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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