Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
