do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
