Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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