I puked a lego.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
