Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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