They should really pass out barf bags in church
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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