whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
