I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
