PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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