You work out of a Hotel?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
