4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
