People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
