You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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