My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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