My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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