why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
