My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
