I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
