I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize