Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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