physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize