god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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