Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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