Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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