There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
