i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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