he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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