Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
