I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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