I wish I could teleport
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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