with your own penis?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
