Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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